What Not To Write

That fashion makeover series ended recently, and it put me in mind of my own set of rules for writing, and more importantly, reading. When I pick up a book, digital or paper, I try to be flexible. I try to get into the author’s world, the world s/he has built for me.

I try very hard not to constrain the author with my expectations, even though I always have expectations. I’ve read the blurb, I’ve looked at the cover, I’ve considered previous work of the author’s I might have read, I’ve considered what I’m in the mood for, and only then will I make a judgement about whether or not I wish to dive in.

And a book is never exactly what I expect. Or hardly ever. I try to be flexible, to go along with the author’s plan. I don’t have to instantly agree one-hundred percent with every authorial decision. I am forgiving. What s/he does right is much more important than what s/he does wrong. I am picky, but not unreasonable.

That said, there are a few things that stop me cold. I may not throw the book across the room, but I may put it down and go watch TV or play Candy Crush.

I would prefer you don’t:

1) Overuse italics.

Italics are wonderful for indicating emphasis, foreign words, or a character’s internal dialogue. For pages-long backstory or flashback, they are horrible. Exposition of backstory in itself has issues, but put it in italics, and it ruins my eyes as well. It’s not easy to read. A multi-page chunk of italics signals: Here comes a bunch of stuff I somehow have to get through before I can continue with the actual story. So please just give me the actual story.

2) Let a single paragraph go on for pages and pages.

All right, maybe I don’t have that much of an attention span. Or maybe I need to rest my eyes. Or I’m sleepy and need to turn out the light. Whatever the reason, I like to stop at a logical place. If a chapter or scene break isn’t coming up soon, I’ll stop at the first paragraph at the top of the page. I don’t enjoy stopping mid-paragraph.

3) Use science fiction or fantasy tropes only as metaphor or literary device:

Many years ago, I picked up P. D. James’s The Children of Men. I kept waiting for scientists somewhere to figure out the physical cause for the worldwide male infertility at the center of the novel. Chapter after chapter passed, but scientists were barely mentioned. It seemed we were meant to believe they had given up, that somewhere, off camera, they were shrugging and saying, “Oh, well. That’s too bad.” Eventually, I understood that no cause was being offered, that the author had no interest or curiosity whatsoever in a physical cause. Universal male infertility was a literary device, a metaphor for an expression of the author’s religious views. Realizing that was a kick in the ovaries for me.

Audrey Niffenegger’s The Time Traveler’s Wife uses time travel as a literary device to tell the story of a romance and marriage. Although it was enjoyable, the story as a whole fell flat for me. Time travel becomes mundane used in this fashion, reminding me more of the trials of any married person who can’t keep track of the comings and goings of a spouse, rather than the mind-blowing possibilities inherent in time travel.

4) Go on and on about whaling, to the detriment of character and relationship development:

I’m talking to you, Herman Melville.

5) Let your isms show:

Are you a communist? I’m not. But if you are, and you write as well as China Mieville, I am happy to read your work. Are you a conservative Catholic? I’m not. But if you are, and you write as well as Tim Powers, I’ll read your work, too.

Every one of us has deeply held beliefs the right of which to express are guaranteed by our Constitution, and bestowed upon us by our Creator. Those beliefs will be embedded in our fiction, but subtly, if we are good storytellers.

The foregoing is  not intended to tell anyone how to write. It is intended only to express my opinion. What are your great reading gripes?

So not east to read....

So not easy to read….

Photo: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Niccolo_de_Niccoli_italic_handwriting.jpg

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  1. #1 by MishaBurnett on November 5, 2013 - 4:49 am

    Flashbacks, particularly flashbacks to The Fateful Day That Changed Their Lives Forever. If you’re writing about what happened twenty years ago, then set your novel in 1993 and write about that. If you’re writing about what’s happening now, then write about what’s happening now. Don’t keep bouncing back to then or I am going to forget about what’s happening now. (Particularly if what’s happening then serves only as exposition to explain your protagonist’s Deep Inner Pain.)

    Split your world into The Good Guys Club and The Bad Guys Club (and yes, Ms Rowling, I am looking at you.) Not everyone who goes to a particular school or works for a particular company is EVIL, even if the overall aims of the organization serve to harm the protagonist.

  1. Trope-ical | Posting Tuesdays. I am Grayson.

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